I used to divide people into two categories: those who preferred Helmenn’s mayonnaise and those who chose Miracle Whip. Helmann’s eaters were definitely superior to Miracle Whippers. I imagined that Miracle Whip people probably also liked eating at buffet restaurants and searching for discount clothing at Daffy Dan’s.
Finding out someone I liked preferred Miracle Whip was like discovering they were from the wrong side of town. They were nice, but, you did'n't want to date people who lived there.